Grace by Which I Stand

Someone welcomed me once to the fellowship of peers. I was this insecure and lonely newly christened executive that someone noticed and embraced. This act of kindness changed me. For the last 20 years I am that annoying neighbor who still brings fresh baked cookies to your door and brings otherwise busy and hurried executives together. The Fellowship of Peers. I have practiced this in every city where I served as CIO. Cleveland, Dallas and NYC. Since I served twice in Cleveland, I blend former and newer colleagues. I took this same philosophy and leveraged the last several years as a way to connect others and frankly, get help to write some of my collaborative books known as "Voices of Innovation". This is where the majority of Voices come from! I now visit at least one city per week. There is no pay to play, purely iron sharpening iron. No awkward sales angle.

When hiring for my teams, healthcare and tech chops are secondary. Passion, loyalty and discipline are foremost traits I value and require. A cornerstone of my success is hiring veterans. Below are a few examples of dozens I personally recruited and led. Major Mike Kelly . Thanks to a CEO and CFO who believed in me before I believed in myself, I stepped into the role of CIO earlier than expected. Recognizing success rested on the strength of my team, I built an environment that fostered collaboration and excellence. I recruited Aviator Mike. If he planned and executed the largest helicopter air movement in history (off the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower in support of Operation Uphold Democracy in Haiti), surely he could lead our operations. His lifelong passion for helping others thrive enabled him to shape a team and culture devoted to excellence. He quickly elevated himself to Deputy CIO and today leads hospitals with a focus on delivering exceptional care to every person who walks through their doors. Mike was an aviator.

No Regrets. I made bad decisions. A few good ones. I been high. I been low. I went from cravats to summit. Back to cravats. I embraced the bosom of my mother. And held others. I toiled in fetal before I stretched. I am broken yet healed. Grace trumps Karma. I forgive. I been hurt. I been abused. I have lost. I have been full of sorrow. Full of shame. My life remains imperfect, but whole. I can’t demand forgiveness. Forgiveness begins within me. I must forgive those who trespassed. Forgiveness is the door to healing. To life. I Pour Out. What others pour into me, I pour out. I held my riches but was empty. I let go and found joy. Everything. The more I die to self the more I live. I am Thankful. I am alive. Barely. The widow maker cast his shadow on me. Wickedness of cancer touched my loins. Grim reaper tried to drown me. Twice. I should not be alive. Each day is a gift. I am Resilient. My family were baked in ovens. Their souls traveled though smokestacks. My parents immigrants. I been fired. I been divorced. I been kicked. Ridiculed. Scorned. It is in my weakness I found strength. I am Masculine. I appreciate femininity. I adore the attributes of my wife, my mother, my daughters. I refuse to be made feminine. I love my fiber, my muscle, my testosterone. I am steadfast in my resolve not to become something others demand I be. I celebrate manhood. I am Happy. I embrace Joy. Even in dark moments I see light. Even in suffering I remain hopeful. I look Forward. My eyes are clear. I see the race in which I run. I see the prize. I curse distractions that seek to avert my focus. There are a great cloud of witnesses. I seek to please. Mold me into a faithful servant. I am Competitor. I embrace discipline. I desire challenge. I relish feats difficult to do. I seek to finish journey’s I otherwise fear. I am Loved. Underserved. Unmerited. Despite myself, I am loved. I don’t understand it. I struggle to explain it. Yet I receive it. And dance. I am Redeemed. I do things I end up hating. I wallow in the sins of my fathers. I seek strength to overcome. To conquer. To finish. To be found worthy. I am Unfinished. The work is not complete. Create in me a clean heart. Continuously. Restore unto me the joy of my creation. I am compelled to give all glory to the one who knew me and believed in me before I believed in me.

After a turbulent undergrad full of sophomoric drunkenness and failure, things turned around. I managed to demonstrate enough “potential” that I was “conditionally” accepted into a unique grad school program focused on consumer sciences. In addition to a teaching stipend, the allure included partnering with a cohort of students, creating independent curriculums studying consumerism, design and fashion. At the end of our studies, the perplexed administrator, unsure how to label our Master’s, conferred us five degrees. Our diploma reads Consumerism, Apparel Design, Fashion Merchandising and Interior Design. Oh yes, Housing as well! Little did I realize that exposure to this curriculum would shape my passion around human centered design and experience in healthcare. While no expert in any of these disciplines, the principles were embedded in my ever evolving leadership and guide me today. One privilege serving as chief digital officer for Tech Mahindra Health & Life Sciences a few years back was being introduced to design soul mates at Pininfarina . They are the most respected design firm globally, having enhanced experiences from airplanes, yachts, buildings, Olympic torches, Ferrari, Coca-Cola, etc. The list is vast. I stopped into their Americas headquarters recently and met with the general manager, Claudio Da Soller . If you want to learn more about Claudio, listen to the podcast we did together recently on DGTL Voices “ Design ”.

Each year many dedicate selves to making improvement in life. We use this annual New Year holiday period as a time of rest and reflection. We end up with resolutions we hope will lead us to the fulfillment of inspired dreams. For some, physical change such as losing weight or working out regularly. We carry hopes of improved family relationships. This will be the year for a new job perhaps in a new city. Alas, the year where we finally finish that quilt, write that book, record our song, or summit that peak. Or fresh love. The focus of our resolutions are vast and deep, fueled by emotion and at times, pain.  Resolutions often fail. Any goal or objective in of itself will fail. A resolution requires a framework, a home where it can be nurtured, aligned and protected. A foundation where the resolution can be measured, adjusted and be held accountable in a transparent fashion.

 You never know your impact on generations that follow. Be sacrificial.

 Imagine my delight this week to hear a familiar voice call out my name. As I turned to respond, my heart rejoiced to find my dear long ago friend Dr. George Kikano . Before I made the bold ask for CIO of University Hospitals , it was leaders like George who gave me confidence and vision beyond my years. I owe my success in part to him.

Five years. Five years ago today! Five years ago today I joined the cancer free. I am, I am, I am, a five-year survivor! My radical prostatectomy successful. My cancer marker zero. My life extended. Second chance. Gratitude. Perspective.

Experience is not a program. Experience is not a department nor is it a title. Despite structure, conferences, podcasts and philosophy, we must and can do more.